I’ve been asked things like “How did you handle moving on with your life?” And personally, I hate that question. It disturbs me to no end to believe that “moving on” is something people think is possible. Do I lay down and forget to live? No. Do I curl up in my depression and cling to it like an old friend? Sometimes. Do I believe I can ever “get past” or “move on” from my the death of my daughter? I guess that depends on what you think that means versus what I think it means. I do not think I will ever “move on” from Ladybug. What I do think is that I am learning to live without her and that her presence is missed acutely. I love her as much today as I did 12 years ago. My heart still fills to brimming when I think of her smile, and the one thing that is guaranteed to bring me to instant tears is to remind me that I feel like I have forgotten how her voice sounded. I don’t know that anyone ever “moves on”. Not really. I think all of us just “keep going,” and try to make the best of a situation that none of us wanted. I’ve often referred this as the club that no one wanted to be apart of. And that’s the truth. In certain ways, we are all bound by our feeling that gulf of grief inside our souls. But we also understand each and every situation are different and no two stories are the same and something one parent experiences, may be different for another. As the title of this blog says, there are no experts here. I just want to give people a chance to share their experiences judgment free, and help each other learn different ways to cope with the unbearable. Because what we are living with is unbearable- but maybe if something helps someone to get deal with the anxiety, the depression, or even those soul crushing moments , it can help someone else too.